Deceived...

      Gen 3:13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" 
                The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."


Deceived, "Eva, you have been deceived."  I sat down slowly at the edge of the bed, trying the discern if what I had just heard was real.  I was stunned.  I was speechless.  What do you mean, Lord?  All I kept thinking about was the word, deceived.  For three years, I had believe this to the be true.  I had alter my life based on this truth.  It could not be!  Around me there was only silence, and acceptance for what my Lord had just revealed was true.  My grief overwhelmed me.  Tears streamed down my face, and sorrow consumed me.  I was confused, I could not think or see clearly.  For the next few days, I lived with this constant sorrow .  I worked, ate, laughed and tried to live normally.  No one could perceive my anguish, no one recognized my pain.   Somewhere in my head, was the word DECEIVED.  How could it be possible?   Based on my mind, my senses, my emotions what I believed was true.  How was I going to live now?  Will I be able to trust myself again?  Why was I unable to distinguish the truth from a lie?  

The cost for accepting this deception as truth led me to live in agony.  I lost jobs, reputation, and credibility.  My years of work and efforts were wasted, my customers were gone, and so were most of the professional relationships.  Both my family, and finances were deeply affected.   I was misunderstood, maligned, discarded, judged, and condemned.  This false truth was my reality, therefore my responses were honest.  I loved, respected, suffered, struggled, and wept.  As time when on, loneliness consumed me, as isolation became a constant friend.  So it came as no surprise when I found myself sitting by the pool at Bethesda; John 5:1-9.

During my initial days at Bethesda friends came to visit, and as they comforted me, they wandered how I ended up in such a place.  With time, most stop coming.   I did not blame them.  Who wants to come to a place of  such sorrow, sickness and pain?  The Lord was always there though.  He was always watching over me, even as I hoped and waited for the waters to stir, so I would be healed.  The waters never moved.  My prayers during those days, were always the same;  "Lord, I want to be heal"  Lord, do you not see my pain? Lord, why don't you intervene?  As time when on, the pain and suffering became unbearable.  That was when I came to the realization that I could not continue to do this alone.  I needed someone to share my pain and sorrow with, so my words of prayer changed; "Lord, please give me strength;"  " Lord help me carry this cross;" "Lord make this bearable." And the Lord did.  Since my God is so kind and compassionate, he brought visitors to come share with me while at Bethesda.  They would make me laugh.  They provided  warmth in cold, dark days, and  they made me forget for a little while where I was.  At the end of their visits, they would go back to their lives, and I continued sitting by the pool at Bethesda.  I was not alone any longer though, the Lord was my constant companion.

In life, you get use to things.  So Bethesda became home, with the Lord by my side.  By his grace, I continued to fulfill all my every day activities and commitments.  As the end of the day approached, I always grieved for I was still there.  Waiting to be healed.  The Lord comforted my tears, and I did not realize it then, began my healing process.  It would not be by the stirring of waters, like I thought.  It would be him.  He would be doing the healing.  He allowed many victories to come my way.  They restored my belief in both my abilities and skills.   I praised him for he had given me such gifts.  Eventually, he sat with me, and peeled the layers of my deception.  He went through ever layer, showing me with his word, nature, friends and family his truths.  I became stronger.  I was comforted.  However, I continued to grieve for my loss, for the life that I had prior to Bethesda.

The months became years, as I continued sitting by the pool at Bethesda.  Then one day, there was a stir in the crowd.  I heard commotion.  There was someone coming.  The Lord was here!  As he walked toward me, I saw his love and determination.  I knew the day had come.  The day that I would leave my place of sorrow.  He picked me up and took me with him, as tears streamed down my face.  My Lord was here, and I was crying on his shoulders.  He had finally come for me.  He took me with him and as we sat, he cleanse my wounds, and changed my clothing from sorrow to joy; Psalm 126: 5.  He comforted me for days.  As we talked, I acknowledge there were many things about him that I did still did not know, nor understand.  He encouraged me to study his word, for in it I would find the answers to my questions.  My priority became to know more of him, for he had sustained me, comforted me, strengthen me, encouraged me and kept me company, throughout my time at Bethesda. Eventually, I was able to accept not only that I had been deceived but I was also able to discern the methods that were utilized to lead me to deception.  I now knew the truth.  The Truth had set me free!


                                       "Yet, I will exult in the Lord,
                                          I will rejoice in the God of my salvation,
                                         The Lord God is my strength,
                                         And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
                                        And makes me walk on my high places."
                                        Habakkuk 3:18-19


I, Eva altered my life and then the Lord altered me!


Copyright 08/2010