In earlier days, starting from scratch was exciting. The challenge was thrilling and the hope was for a favorable outcome. So I willing gave, for the results were rewarding. When life intervened and what was valued was removed abruptly, I was left empty. Therefore, when embarking in new ventures today, I can’t help feeling cautious. I rely on my Lord for courage and support.
He has created new paths. I am grateful for his provision as I walk. But I find myself remembering the intangibles and grieving for its loss: The knowledge on the subject matter; the years of experience; the respect of my peers; the efforts given; regret for not being able to achieve my dreams; and the time wasted, for a piece of my life is not valuable any longer. Beginning when you are older than most around you has its own set of challenges. You are unable to hide your life experiences and the lessons learned. Those who belong to your generation already achieved and acclimated themselves to their surroundings, while you watch and admire their routine and normalcy.
I do not asked why any longer. The Lord must have its reasons and purpose; Ecclesiastes 3:17. All I do is run to my refuge. I asked for his help. For in him, I find loving kindness, life and righteousness; Psalm 36:7-10.
I place my trust under the shadow of his wings...
Copyright 01/11
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