Life's Darts...

As I child it was easy to find methods of protecting myself from the chaos that surrounded me.  I created a variety of walls.  There was the wall of indifference, the wall of control, and the one of toughness.  Throughout most of my life these were easy to utilized as a way to cope with life’s darts of pain.  Eventually the attacks became too difficult to handle, and life altering trials led to the demise of my walls.  I was then revealed.

Today, my Self is expose to life’s darts.  This leads to painful lessons, and many days of sorrow and brokenness.  Sometimes I feel like a vessel that is constantly shattering, and in my pieces, I run to the Lord for mending.  This makes me wonder why the Lord would allow this.   Maybe it is because He wants to teach me that He is my refuge and protection.  The Lord does mend me but this does not bar me from the ache.  At least now I feel.  I am not hiding in my man-made barriers of insensitivity and carelessness.  I am in display to both the Lord and others. 

I identify with David.  I go to his Psalms and I see me through them.  I have learned to weep, lament, and sob.  I’ve asked questions, demanded justice and divulged my broken heart.  I take comfort in these words: 

¹ Keep me safe, my God, 
   for in you I take refuge.

² I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; 
   apart from you I have no good thing.”

⁵ LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup; 
   you make my lot secure. 
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 
   surely I have a delightful inheritance. 
⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; 
   even at night my heart instructs me. 
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the LORD. 
   With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 16

Copyright 12/10